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Question by Boomer Rat: Should I try and make up with Mr Eternal Optimist?
I’ve been friends with Mr E-O for about a month. He described himself as like a life coach, so I took him at his word. I get very low sometimes – asked him for help – but I’m a realist and can’t see all of the benefits that just simply thinking the best of life can bring. I don’t believe in psychic ordering, reiki healing, or that ‘the only things I can’t do are the ones I don’t want to’.

We had an argument. I de-friended him on Facebook (he lives at a distance, but he has my email) and I don’t know if it was the right thing to do. One of our mutual friends describes him as “…just one of those people that only allows “half-full glass” people into his life & tells the “half-empty glass” folks to hit the road!”

Should I try and continue this friendship, or just give it up if he won’t accept that I get depressed more than he does?

Best answer:

Answer by Blondie
It sounds like your friendship isn’t meant to be. There’s nothing wrong with optimists (or pessimists, for that matter). In fact, I read somewhere once that optimists and pessimists tend to have very good marriages because the ways they look at the world complement each other. But this guy isn’t just optimistic, he sounds overbearing. He calls himself a “life coach?” Really, who does he think he is, your friend or your therapist? This guy sounds like he has good intentions, but they are misplaced. He needs to learn that to be a good friend, sometimes he should stop giving you advice and just be there for you, to listen, hang out, and have a good time.

For your part, you should be considerate to your friends by not unloading all of your problems on to them. Friends are always there to lend an ear or a shoulder to cry on, but there is a point where too much is too much. If you really are depressed often, you should consider going to a therapist. You may or may not have clinical depression that needs to be treated, but even if you don’t a therapist can teach you useful life skills that your friend does NOT have the expertise/authority to provide.

If you really value his friendship, you could let him back into your life but set some ground rules for him. He needs to stop acting like your life coach and start acting like a friend. If he can’t do that, then you’re better off without him.

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